English on Roxana-Mălina Chirilă

Gizoogle + Gregorian Bivolaru

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 11:07:49 +0000

Because of Stephen Fry, I ended up on Gizoogle.net. It appears to be a search engine that takes Google results and turns them into their gangster-speak versions. It’s an online translator of sorts, but with magnificently hilarious results.

Stephen Fry results on Gizoogle were really funny.

Gregorian Bivolaru results made me laugh my arse off. I wonder if the official Yogaesoteric website will issue an outraged cry against Gizoogle XD

Here’s the main page of the gregorianbivolaru.com website:

Da Romanian Yoga mackdaddy Home page – Introduction

This joint raps bout tha case of Gregorian Bivolaru, tha mentor of a big-ass spiritual movement up in Romania. Da organization he dropped is called MISA, tha Movement fo’ Spiritual Integration up in Absolute, n’ its main focus is on tha practice of yoga n’ meditation.

Pimp Yoga Gregorian Bivolaru be a well-known yoga & tantra mackdaddy, wit over 35 books published, tha lyricist of over 100 articlez on yoga, spirituality, love, tantra, horny-ass continence n’ meditation, co thug n’ translator of nuff other published shit. Cuz of its effectiveness, tha yoga n’ tantra system taught by Pimp Yoga Gregorian Bivolaru has been implemented up in over 30 ghettos up in Europe, Uptown America, Downtown America, Asia, Africa n’ even Australia yo. Dude is currently tha Spiritual Mentor of MISA yoga school n’ nuff sista schools around tha ghetto dat is embracin tha same stupid-ass teachin system. Many competent yoga & tantra mackdaddys was trained under his fuckin lil’ direct guidance, based on tha ancient yoga knowledge n’ his own underground experience. Da spiritual school dat Pimp Yoga Gregorian Bivolaru has dropped has mo’ than 40.000 actizzle students ghettowide n’ hundreadz of thousandz of sympathizers.

Ever since tha beginnin of his yoga practice back up in tha 70’s, Mista Muthafuckin Bivolaru has been tha object of constant surveillizzle n’ persecution by tha totalitarian communist regime. Recently, a cold-ass lil court decision aknowledged dat Gregorian Bivolaru was sentenced n’ jailed fo’ polistical reasons durin tha communist regime. Even afta tha fall of tha communizzle up in 1989, Gregorian Bivolaru continues ta be persecuted fo’ his beliefs, tha authoritizzles managin (with tha support of mass media) ta turn his ass tha fuck into a outcast person, marginalized by tha Romanian society, together wit all MISA yoga students.

Da peak of dis abuses n’ persecutions against Gregorian Bivolaru n’ MISA was reached on 18 March 2004, when tha authoritizzles – prosecutors, five-o, gendarmes, secret skillz – started a unprecedented intimidation campaign.

Troops was busted ta private housez of MISA yoga practitioners. Muthafuckas was brutalized, threatened at gunpoint, underground belongings n’ documents was confiscated, false declarations was obtained by force, crimes, witnesses n’ suckas was fabricated.

A warrant of arrest was issued on 31 May 2004 against Mista Muthafuckin Bivolaru whoz ass decided ta hide away, convinced already dat schmoooove muthafucka has no chances fo’ a gangbangin’ fair trial up in Romania, n’ followin two straight-up attempts on his fuckin life.

[…]

„Da prosecutor now investigates organized crime n’ human traffic cases concernin a shitload of tha MISA members. One has instituted tha measure of „insurin arrestment” on 70 buildings fo’ coverin tha damages dat they fronted. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Officially, one has noted that, under tha cover of courses fo’ initiation up in tha yoga practices, tha investigated peeps attracted, manipulated n’ exploited tha participants (of whom nuff was minor) ta they own underground interest, thus endangerin they psycho pimpment. Nevertheless, from tha contradictory data published by tha media, there is only 8 suckas. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some of tha investigated peeps was busted ta trial. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo’ realz. A straight-up unusual thang fo’ Romania, the entire indictment was made hood by tha penal prosecution body, which among violatin tha muthafuckin rights ta a equitable trial n’ tha protection of tha investigated peeps’ private life, may be yet another element fo’ tha manipulation of hood opinion.

[…]

Da aim of dis joint is ta present tha detailz of tha whole campaign against Gregorian Bivolaru, a playa of pimped out character, wisdom, kindnizz n’ profundity. For almost 35 muthafuckin years dat schmoooove muthafucka has been tha sucka of obstinizzle, yet ungrounded, persecution, n’ these documents will present you wit the TRUTH.

Source: http://gizoogle.net/xfer.php?link=http://www.gregorianbivolaru.com/

[Note: Of course this is all in jest and good fun.]
[Here’s the first paragraph of my „Translator Story”, via Gizoogle:

Da Translator

Malena started doin thangs on tha third of April, a heady Aries n’ a talented translator. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch only waited fo’ so long before she put her foot down n’ took charge of her destiny, ridin it like a cold-ass lil lil pimp of tha sea would a thugged-out dolphin.]

Article About Me on Yogaesoteric.net (translation)

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 21:53:20 +0000

My note: The following article was published on the Yogaesoteric.net website on the 8th of March 2013. It’s a response to a conference in which I talked about MISA, a Romanian yoga group which is spreading in various other countries, and its leader, Gregorian Bivolaru. The conference was held at the meeting of the anti-cult organization FECRIS in Perpignan, France, in October 2012. You can find the written conference on this very blog.

As a side note, I spoke freely during the conference, which means that any recorded audio/video version is going to differ slightly from the written one. However, the basics are the same.

Unfortunately, the author writing this article for the MISA official website, Yogaesoteric.net, only read my impressions of the trip to Perpignan and not my actual conference, which means he missed the opportunity to offer a reply to the issues that I really raised. The author still pretends he read it, though, which I find to be delightfully ironic in some corners.

This translation appeared out of a desire to share this article with some of my foreign friends and acquaintances, as well as with interested parties. I searched far and wide for relevant quotes to demonstrate MISA standing points on aliens, the Apocalypse and so forth, gathering them from wherever I could. I find that the following article neatly demonstrates some of the points I was trying to make during my FECRIS conference. I hereby allow any interested parties to reproduce it or use it as they see fit, with the note that I would appreciate it if they offered a link to it (or credits). The credit/link, however, are not strictly necessary.

I have provided in-text notes concerning some very punctual issues that I wanted cleared. I will eventually provide an actual commentary on this. The oddity of the text and the run-on sentences are features of the original Gruia-written article.

**********************~

The Slanderers of Our Yoga School Attempt to Discredit the Planetary Saving Program No Apocalypse (I)

They Are Attempting to Bring MISA to the Attention of International Organizations Known for Their Abuse Against Authentic Spiritual Groups

by Călin Gruia

Roxana Chirilă, aged 24, translator and former MISA student, published several tendentious articles on her blog, in which she brings false and unfounded accusations against our yoga school. Chirilă claims to be a victim of our yoga school, but fails to bring any real evidence in support of her shameless, false accusations.
As is common for those in the tiny group of ridiculous slanderers of the MISA yoga school, Chirilă does not fail to use the sleazy, unscrupulous methods of „media clowns” such as Cecilia Tiz or the dog-lawyer Rapcea. What is particularly grave, however, is that we are currently faced with an attempt to discredit our yoga school by cataloging it as a cult because it initiated the planetary saving program No Apocalypse! Considering its importance for the future of our planet, we believe that it is necessary to sanction the aberrations launched by Roxana Chirilă by offering a few logical and pertinent observations.

According to the declarations made on her personal blog, Chirilă attended the yoga course for seven-eight years. It would appear that in 2011, the translator quit and started, instead, to discredit and slander the MISA yoga school. We aren’t surprised by the fact that Chirilă associated herself with Cecilia Tiz, who has recently been condemned for calumny by a German court. In the summer of 2011, the former student Chirilă participated alongside sweet Cecilia in a sensationalist tabloid TV show in which they slandered our yoga school. In that show, Chirilă’s former yoga colleagues recognized her behind a „camouflage” done in poor taste and they were horrified by her hypocrisy and by the phantasmagorical lies that she spouted into the microphone.

On her personal blog, Chirilă laments, saying that she’s a victim of the MISA yoga school, but, aside from that, she is the one who, with humongous impertinence, attacks, discredits and slanders our yoga school. Although her slandering articles bring great prejudice against the image of our yoga school, Chirilă doesn’t bother bringing any palpable proof in support of the ineptitude and dirt with which she splatters the image of the MISA yoga school, basing her accusations only on the fact that people listen too readily to gossip and allow themselves to be filled with demoniac doubts even if the accusations lack logic and basis.

For example, in one of the texts that the translator posted on her blog, Chirilă describes her visit at a meeting of an anti-cult organization in France. The story happened in the autumn of 2012, when the former yoga student would have been invited as a witness to speak about MISA, which would be – in the distorted and confused view of the former student Chirilă, a cult.
Aside from the absurd fact (as any person with intelligence and common sense can see) that someone who was a student of letters until very recently, thus having absolutely no training in psychology or sociology, proclaims herself a cult expert, what is also revolting is the way in which so-called anti-cult organizations use such shady, ill-meaning and lying people in their fight against authentic spirituality.

Actually, there’s already a notoriety around the activity of some anti-cult organizations, such as FECRIS, or the French MIVILUDES, who, under the guise of a social battle they lead against cults and sects are actually leading a 21st century witch hunt against authentic spirituality.
Aside from the so-called „good” intentions that some of the anti-cult organizations proclaim, the gross way in which these organizations violate human rights and liberties in their rush to repress, violently and entirely unfairly, all spiritual minorities is already notorious, both in Europe and across the ocean. A majority of the researchers in this domain from all over the world noticed that the French anti-cult system is extremely suppressive, this position being pointed out every year by Asma Jahangir, the United Nations Special Rapporteur for Supervision of Human Rights [translator’s note: Wikipedia says United Nations Special Rapporteur on Freedom of Religion or Belief.]

Aside from the cults and sects that have already been recognized as dangerous for society, some elitist groups of occult interests (such as the satanic cult of freemasonry) use anti-cult organizations to control groups or associations of people who choose to live according to beneficial and harmonious spiritual and moral values, which our human society, in its current form, has lost in the storm of so-called „technological development”.

The position adopted by the former student Chirilă against our yoga school obliges us to remind everyone, and especially those who aren’t in the know, that the MISA yoga school hasn’t been, isn’t and (we believe) will never be a cult. Moreover, we find it necessary to underline that although the MISA yoga school has been continuously subjected, from its founding up until now, to a true media lynching and to immeasurable abuse and injustice from the Romanian State, our enemies have never found legal incriminating evidence because it simply doesn’t exist.
Because of this, one of the abject types of accusation used by the enemies of our yoga school to discredit its image is the slandering accusation that MISA is, actually, a cult. Although there are countless pieces of evidence that would completely dispel this false accusation, such as the detailed study made by the priest Karl Erik Nylund, the greatest cult expert, still, the rigorous research which demonstrates that the MISA yoga school does not have a cult-like quality is disregarded by the enslaved Romanian media, because politics dictates that MISA should be continuously discredited in front of Romanians.

Certainly, if those who wanted to condemn MISA at any cost had had at least one piece of solid evidence regarding the false and slandering accusations which they bring against MISA or against the yoga professor Gregorian Bivolaru, there would be no need for unstable and ill-intended people such as Chirilă, Rapcea or Tiz to parade themselves in the tabloid media to discredit the MISA yoga school in front of public opinion.

Several replies we consider to be necessary to dismantle the series of insinuations, slanders and aberrant accusations made by former student Chirilă, on the occasion of her abject and slandering conference in France

Last autumn, Chirilă participated in a FECRIS meeting in France, which was centered on cult visions of the so-called Biblical Apocalypse [translator’s note: Inaccurate. The theme was the Apocalypse in general, not the Biblical Apocalypse]. Seeing that some cults such as Jehova’s Witnesses are very attached to the idea of Apocalypse, to the end of the world and to the fact that only the members of those groups will be saved from an imminent and catastrophic death (which will happen for all mankind), we believe it to be necessary to draw one’s attention the the difference which exists between the way in which such cults see the Apocalypse, compared to the point of view of the MISA yoga school.

The style in which Chirilă’s so-called conference is written is manipulating and insidious, the former student spouting several aberrations to demonstrate the so-called association of the MISA yoga school with those cults which feel threatened by a possible Apocalypse and the „centers” of which gravitate around the fear of humanity’s total destruction and the salvation of those who „do what they must” alone, as the former student affirms. The forced association with this pessimistic perspective was based on the fact that our yoga school initiated the program No Apocalypse! From this point of view, we find it important to mention that, first of all, the program of planetary saving No Apocalypse is not compulsory for anyone who participates in the courses of our yoga school and the activity of our school does not center at all around a „fear of the Apocalypse”. [translator’s note: Incidentally, I never claimed the opposite]
Rather, we could say that due to the effects of the systematic practice of the yoga techniques offered through our courses, many human beings choose to overcome their egocentric attitude and their preoccupation with personal welfare alone, responding to, each according to their own possibilities, numerous beneficial calls, such as the one that pertains to applying the Supreme and Efficient Method.

Moreover, the Supreme and Efficient Method can be done by anybody who has faith in GOD and who wishes to convince him/herself of the miraculous effects of this method, even if that person isn’t or was never interested in yoga. Even this profoundly significant aspect on its own represents overwhelming proof of the fact that MISA is not a cult.

Considering the profound planetary transformations taking place during this time, which can be observed by anyone gifted with clarity and common sense, many students of our yoga school embraced the practice of the Supreme and Efficient Method, not because they believe they are heroes, as Chirilă insidiously affirms, but because any man who has a harmonious, beneficial, divinely oriented lifestyle can understand the truth lying behind the aphorism, „to know and fail to act is the supreme cowardice”.
It’s worth mentioning that, considering the current horrible spiritual decline of humanity, it is even more praiseworthy that within our school yoga is practiced in a profound manner, based on a vast and wise spiritual vision. The fruit of this practice is meant to make every individual feel responsible for the society he lives in, and this permits thousands of human beings to wish to become involved in the practice of such a pure and harmonious method.

The Supreme and Efficient Method is based on the third prophecy from Fatima, which contains a true apocalyptic warning made by the Virgin Mary which could, in the end, hold true if humanity doesn’t transform spiritually as soon as possible.
This prophecy truly exists, it was made in 1917, hundreds of thousands of people bore witness to the miracle of Fatima, and today this prophecy is hidden by elitist circles of occult interest which control our planet from the shadows and whose sovereignty is based precisely on maintaining the ignorance and naivety of the people of this planet.
Although some officials of the Catholic Church know this troubling prophecy, they won’t or they aren’t allowed to make everything public, being afraid of the repercussions.

The priest and theologian Malachi Martin, who was appreciated for his long-term collaboration with the Vatican, claimed that the Papacy hides a terrifying and shaking secret from humanity about the terrible apocalyptic punishment reserved for humanity if it doesn’t return to GOD with its entire soul: „when I was around Pope John the XXIIIrd, this paper was held in a box on the fireplace of the Pope’s private apartment in Rome.” It was Malachi Martin again who claimed that Pope John Paul the IInd didn’t agree with revealing the prophecy of the Virgin Mary, because „the message of the secret is very apocalyptic.”

Aside from the inertia and spiritual blindness manifested by Chirilă, who criticizes without research and practice, some of these so-called apocalyptic signs have already appeared and they can be noticed all over the planet.
In the past two years, there has been a worrying increase in natural catastrophes on our planet. Climatically speaking, the characteristics of the four seasons are turning less and less visible. In the past three years, the solar storms have been much greater than those we’ve known thus far, which made many scientists worry and wonder what would become of life on our planet if this accelerated heating of the sun continued? It is important to mention that during Mary’s appearance in Fatima, which was witnessed by hundreds of thousands of people, the Virgin Mary showed the people gathered there an apocalyptic vision in which the sun crashed down on the earth. On that occasion, as well as in other appearances of the Virgin Mary this century, she asked people to pray so that the sins of humanity may be forgiven and she told them to turn towards GOD.
Those divine visions from Fatima represent a significant warning for us humans and they deserve to be treated with all due attention, and if a united group of human beings, oriented towards good, willingly choose to practice the Supreme and Efficient Method, this doesn’t prove at all that the MISA yoga school is a cult.

MISA Is a Spiritual Yoga School

The theoretical and practical yoga courses, the valuable spiritual initiations, as well as the exceptional spiritual conferences that are offered by our yoga school are based on the principles and millenarian values of the yoga system, and their profoundly transforming effects can be felt by all those who are curious and willing to practice these yoga techniques systematically. Those who don’t make a minimal personal effort to practice these techniques will, obviously, feel no effects – and if they have a questionable character, they will start criticizing the yoga system. The criticism invented by, for example, by Roxana Chirilă is baseless and it only serves to hide gross techniques of manipulation which want to induce baseless demoniac doubts in all those who wish to get closer to yoga practice.
This is where we can place the association between MISA and the abject, manipulating and dirty hoax that was Caritas – this is a fantasy of Chirilă’s mind and it is entirely baseless. Among the fantastic comments made by the former student is one according to which our yoga school manipulates those who enroll in its courses, „catching them with an emotional hook” which tempts them by explaining how well they’ll do if they „leave themselves to MISA” (an expression which belongs to her).

Aside from Chirilă’s perverse insinuations, this manipulation might be true in the case of cults, but it is entirely false and non-existent in a yoga school such as MISA, the principles of which are based on authentic spiritual and moral values and on the profound transformation of the human being which cannot be obtained in any way but through personal spiritual practice. How could anybody in this school promise the „good” which pertains strictly to the rhythm, character and individual structure of each student? Anybody who practices yoga enthusiastically within our yoga school tries to keep in mind the famous aphorism „a gram of practice is worth tons of theory”. From this point of view, we would like to tell the former student that nobody, at any time or in any place will be responsible for her even if they wanted to, for her happiness or contentment, especially when she won’t bother to make even the tiniest effort towards self-knowledge.
In other words, we could deduce that Chirilă’s fears also show her immaturity and the extremely superficial and naive vision (which in her case comes close to pathology), with which the former student regards the activities in our yoga school.

The XXIst Century Inquisition

The more we look at the absurd accusations made by Chirilă during the FECRIS conference in France, the less we can abstain from noticing that either the translator is entirely misinformed, or she pretends to be so in order to discredit the image of the MISA yoga school at any cost.

We quote from the translator’s „masterpiece”: „Aside from that, I say, apocalypses differ… But they know that as well. MISA believes in aliens coming to help, in the photon belt which will swallow the earth and kill those who aren’t ready in December, in freemasons who manipulate everyone and who build all sorts of things underground to which they’ll evade, but they won’t be able to escape anyway. MISA believes in looming natural disasters and in the fact that soon enough we’ll enter not the New Age-like Age of Aquarius, but Satya Yuga, the spiritual age described by Indians.”

Aside from Chirilă’s unfounded aberrations, MISA is a yoga school and its values and principles are based on the ancient yogic tradition, not on New Age „beliefs”, as Chirilă tries to insinuate in a manipulating manner.
Actually, the recent „New Age” combines some spiritual truth with the fantasies in the heads of those who invented it, with the purpose of maintaining human beings far away from the authentic spirituality which we might consider to be represented by yoga, which has been successfully practiced for thousands of years.
Although this „New Age” has been embraced by some contemporary spiritual seekers, it is a hoax precisely because it isn’t based on either profound faith in GOD and or on belonging to an authentic spiritual path, as we can say is the case of the ancient science of yoga and within which there were some authentic spiritual guides who were able to transmit the pure knowledge they received from GOD.

Because within our yoga school we try to reach a global and profoundly spiritual integration of man in Creation and not just a materialistic and egocentric one, as the society we live on dictates, it isn’t at all coincidental that the increasingly profound discovery of GOD’s existence is the miracle that can be experienced by all those who practice yoga within MISA, being filled with pure, good intentions.
In other words, although we believe that it is naive to think that humans are alone in this Universe, Chirilă’s affirmations according to which MISA believes in aliens and in the whole string of oddities that she exposed is false, because the faith of any conscious yogi filled with noble aspirations lies in GOD.

Seeing that in the past two years there have been numerous sightings all over the world which demonstrate, in images, the presence of so-called amazing UFOs on the sky of the planet Earth, even the Russian prime minister Medvedev recently bid the US, publicly, to show the entire world their complex information concerning extraterrestrial visits on our planet.
In the context in which the presence of UFOs on our planet becomes more and more obvious to humans, why wouldn’t people in MISA be free to experiment as they will with some meditations of communion with beneficial extraterrestrial beings?

Also, it is worth mentioning that the very special calls made to contact highly spiritual extraterrestrial civilizations that take place at the end of yogic YANG spirals are open to all those who are curious and wish to experience such sublime telepathic communications personally. This altruistic feeling that the students in our yoga school have for those who, although they aren’t interested in yoga, still wish to convince themselves of the existence of good aliens, represents a clear proof that MISA does not have a dogmatic, rigid and cultish character.

The photon belt is not an invention of our yoga school. The probability of such a „photon belt” existing in the universe, having a complex relationship with solar systems and developing cyclically and the fact that this has already been scientifically proved by the researcher Gregg Baden don’t demonstrate in any way that MISA is a cult. Anybody who freely chooses to study the theory of the photon belt can do this on specialized internet sites, and practicing yoga is not a requirement.

Chirilă’s accusations are nonsense, because freely chosen beliefs do not demonstrate cultish traits in any way, especially if these convictions are willingly embraced and don’t presuppose a separation or isolation from society. They are manifested rather as a freely assumed and creative vision on life and one’s surroundings.
Aside from that, the MISA yoga school never and under any form supported the aberration claimed by Chirilă according to which „the photon belt will kill those who aren’t ready”. This is a fatalistic description, a fantastic and inept one which counters all ethical, moral and spiritual yogi values and principles that form the basis of MISA activities.

We consider that the accusation that MISA believes in freemasons who manipulate everyone is tendentious and manipulating. Today there is much undeniable evidence about the intentions and criminal plans of the satanic cult of freemasonry. The fact that some people in our yoga school took a stand against the worldwide manipulation done by the so called „Illuminati”, exposing, in several articles, the amount of overwhelming evidence concerning the danger represented by the satanic cult of freemasonry is not singular at all. Anyone who wishes to study the issue of the elitist worldwide conspiracy more closely can do it via the thousands of written papers as well as on many internet sites, a huge number of written texts as well as videos are at their disposal for discovering information about the evil plans of the masonry, which are exposed clearly, in a Machiavellian manner, in the canonical propagandist paper „The Protocols of the Freemason Masters”. Far from being cultish, the preoccupation with the good of our society and the desire to draw attention to the perversity, manipulation and corruption that exist in the world today because of the insidious infiltration of the masonic mentality in all the areas of our lives renders salutary and even brave the initiative of some of the students of our school to draw attention to the villainies of the masonry, considereing the context of a sleeping society which is enslaved by gross, materialistic habits.

The Sanskrit term SATYA YUGA belongs to the ancient Hindu spiritual tradition and, regardless of former student Chirilă’s manipulating words, using this term doesn’t demonstrate the fact that MISA is a cult at all. In our yoga school, just as in the ancient yogi tradition, that term is used to represent a certain period in the history of humanity and seeing that MISA is a yoga school based on the ancient yogi science, it is natural that in some descriptions it would have borrowed the basic terms which define them.

Aside from Chirilă’s abject and petty accusations, we ask ourselves with concern what authority belongs to those who listened to the translator and how ready these people are to judge what is and what isn’t cultish behavior?

Condemning the freely assumed beliefs of some people who simply open their eyes and wish to see something other than what the corrupt and politically enslaved media dictates in such a clear, violent and annihilating manner constitutes a gross lack of recognition for the fundamental rights of citizens. What is also worth emphasizing is that this theft of „spiritual freedom” which insidiously happens under our very eyes is a true contemporary inquisition and the slandering conference in France held by the former student Chirilă is extra evidence that proves that human beings are on the brink of losing their right to free association and faith in the hands of some materialistic, half-learned people.

(to be continued)

The Piano Demon [Story, Fantasy, Draft 1.03]

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 08:24:00 +0000

Author’s Note: This is another one of my infamously stuck-in-first-draft stories. One day I’ll actually edit it.

The first time I saw her – really, really saw her, not just glanced at her as we tried our best to catch the back seats in the small university classrooms – she was at a piano. Maybe I’d never have really been able to notice her had it not been for that one, strange evening when destiny gently pushed me out of my awkward life and into hers.

If only children can be prodigies, then I wasn’t one any longer. I’d lived through my glory years at school, where I’d gone off and won prizes for art and English, maths and physics, running circles around classmates and less talented professors. Eventually, when push came to shove and I had to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, I hid behind some more studying, delaying that dreadful moment when I’d have to prove that not only was I smart, but that I was also able to do something. I chose English and physics as majors, convinced I could do both easily enough. I wasn’t right. I wasn’t very wrong, either. There wasn’t much of a personal life left between the two, but I took my exams with flying colors and dreamed of the day I’d win a Nobel prize. I don’t think it will ever actually happen, but even fools can dream.

I was going to write a BA dissertation on the impact that 19th century scientific discoveries had on literature. It was an interesting topic and one of the few I could choose to reunite both my loves and get away with studying the history of physics, with its wild theories and random inferences. Word got out and before I knew it, one of my professors was suggesting that I should hold a conference on the matter in this event they’d have at our university. She said I should discuss the birth of science fiction and how its history differed from fantasy. Well, fine by me.

Then, my Renaissance Literature professor and I discussed it over coffee one morning in the underground bar where we waited for classes and in a spur of the moment decision she told me that I should join her and some other members of the faculty for a semi-official planning discussion that afternoon at Stanislaw’s place. I’d never had classes with Stanislaw, nor do I know why he bore that name. He wasn’t Polish, nor did he have any Polish relatives that anybody knew of. I wouldn’t really have cared enough to ask other students, but he was in his early 40s and he was handsome, so he was a common choice of gossip among female students.

I met up with the professors after we all finished out classes. Stanislaw came to meet us so he could lead us to his place and I was wondering how I’d managed to get myself in between all these people who were much above me in training and experience and how I’d fare spending hours with them. Maybe I’d embarrass myself with something stupid, pour coffee all over myself, or say that I’d never read Plato or something of the sort (although I supposed I could keep quiet about my failures).

There a few houses in the same courtyard where Stanislaw had made his home. There was a nasty little dog which tried to bite one of the professors, but he kept away with an extended leg, jumping around to lead us to his place.

„My apartment mate,” he warned us before we could go up – he lived on the second floor -, „is busy playing the piano. She’s a bit strange, but she’s nice otherwise.”

So we followed him up the stairs. There was some piano playing indeed, getting louder with each step. It sounded random, wild, furious, then it stopped, then it started again in rapid succession. Very short pieces of songs, like a storm that smashes itself against the window for a howling moment, then lets up, then starts again. It didn’t take that long to go up, but between the quick, sudden, furious bits of music it somehow it sounded much longer.

My Renaissance Literature professor walked in first – Stanislaw was at the very rear, having kept the dog away from us – and she made the piano playing stop abruptly and not return. Then one of the older professors walked in, and then I did.

I’d looked down on her in class. I’d thought she was one of those je m’en fous rockers, with her big, black T-shirts with strange designs, wolves, witches, Indians, Gothic ladies. She never had any with band pictures, though. Black pants or jeans. Black hair, silver jewelry. Other than her fashion statement, she was quiet and polite. Her grades, whenever I bothered to check, were high, but not at the very top. She wasn’t competing with me in anything, which settled the matter. I didn’t care about meeting her. I thought she was a party goer, a fun lover, all the things I’d never been, all the things I only cared about when I felt shunned and alone.

She was wearing a man’s shirt when we walked in that night. I thought I recognized it as something Stanislaw sometimes wore. It was probably his, now that I think about it. Of course, we all thought they were sleeping together. After all, it was blatantly obvious that they were living together and that they shared clothes. We knew she wasn’t his kid. So we came to the quick and embarrassing conclusion that they were sleeping together. Neither of them said anything on the subject. There was no apology, no explanation. It wasn’t my place to say anything and I think the others were too polite to mention it.

Later it would turn out that there was nothing between them. She was living there because she’d been kicked out by her parents, and by her aunt, and by everybody else who she had turned to. She had an extensible armchair in his library, where she also kept the few clothes and belongings she had. She wore the crazy T-shirts to advertise them – she made them for a living, sold them out to rockers and weirdos. She didn’t draw them, mind you. She came up with the idea, then collaborated with an arts student – later with me – and then she printed them at a specialized shop. Whenever she wasn’t busy wearing her own creations, she preferred manly button-up shirts, like Stanislaw’s.

I don’t know how they ended up living together. There was a history there. I never asked. She’ll tell me one day. Maybe.

That night, she looked a sight. Dark circles under her eyes, paler than usual, hunched over an electronic piano that was thrown against the dining room/kitchen wall. She looked drunk, or drugged. Maybe that was why we didn’t comment on her relationship with Stanislaw. We were too shocked. I don’t know.

„Come in, come in,” Chris said, carelessly. She laughed, but it was hollow. „I know how I look. I know damned fucking well how I look. But I’m not ashamed, so come on already. Sit down. Welcome to the dragon’s den.”

I thought she was maybe half-crazy. But she was just herself on a very bad day. Sarcastic, bitter, with a hint of deliberate insanity.

„Christine!” one of the professors said. He recognized her, or maybe remembered her name now. Or maybe he’d just found his voice again.

„Ah, I’m flattered to be recognized,” she answered. I couldn’t tell if it was meant ironically or seriously. Probably the latter. Maybe both. „And look, it’s Judith!” She’d finally noticed me. „You’re that double-major girl, the genius. How’s that working out for you?” She tittered on her chair as she said it and her haunted eyes followed me as I took a chair.

Nobody honestly called me a genius, even if I suppose I kind of am one. Except my family, they sometimes do. Some of the boys from my school would shout it to my face, tauntingly, ‘ge-nius, ge-nius, geek, geek, geek!’ They looked down on me, I could tell. So did the butcher whom my mum sent me to get our meat from, and one of my teachers. Sometimes girls would say, ‘oh, she can’t come to the party, she’s too busy being a genius.’ Others were just intimidated, or thrilled. I didn’t know how to handle it and in time I became one of those cleverer-than-thou people, but I’m not sure I meant it. Or maybe I did. Anyway, I never felt normal until I went off to college and even then, sometimes…

„Fine, I suppose,” I said. „How are you?”

„Crappy,” she said. She looked up and saw that our professors were still uncertain. As I said, I didn’t know Stanislaw except from seeing him in corridors and from gossip, but they probably knew him better and hadn’t expected to find a female student wearing one of his shirts in his kitchen. „Hey, please sit. Don’t let me bother you. I don’t bite nice people and you look nice enough to me.” She turned back towards me. „Actually, kind of worse than crappy. I got my ass kicked in a fight today and I hurt like no tomorrow.” I’d find out later that it was because of all her fights and irregular hours that she got kicked out of her own house and that her grades weren’t quite up there with mine. She’d been deemed a lost child by her father and by her five younger brothers and sisters. None of her family looked up to her, but they didn’t look up to anybody. Her mum had run off at some point before, after it had been found out that Chris wasn’t really her husband’s. ‘Dysfunctional family much?’ I’d ask her later when she’d rubbed off on me and told me her story. ‘Love, you’ve no clue.’ She called all people she liked love. It’s why it took me awhile to realize she wasn’t sleeping with the professor. ‘Auntie Lisa slept in the attic, thought she was closer to God that way. One of my cousins stole cars and when they caught him he said he was promoting jogging in an innovative manner – and he believed what he was saying.’ The list went on.

Stanislaw was the best host I’d ever encountered. We gave us some excellent tea and cookies and had Chris write down our ideas. She listened intently, wrote it all down, but didn’t say much. She sat at her piano seat all throughout our meeting, laughed at our jokes and when we were done for the day, she asked if she could play for us.

„Gotta warn ya, though,” she said. „I play with an accent. I play like a demon.”

So she played. Gods, she really was a demon with that piano. Her fingers ran so fast it sounded as if she had four hands, not two. She never faltered, never hesitated, never made a single mistake. Her music didn’t just have an accent, it was furious, mad, depressive in the way a full orchestra with canons can play ‘depressive’, biting, snarling and at the same time I wanted it to never end. And when she started singing, her voice was a musical screech, beautiful because it had taken everything in it that it hadn’t liked and beaten it into a pulp. It was strong and strange and wild and pained.

I can’t remember what she sang. Something about fairies ripping the world apart by moonlight, I think. We were rooted to our seats. My Renaissance Literature professor started crying. I think I started crying, too, and I knew for certain that each and every one of us was remembering something that we didn’t really want to remember right then, but we couldn’t help it. Chris was a genius way beyond me, way beyond anything I could imagine. I thought I saw her standing in hell and screaming defiance against all the devils – but then I was carried away and it was all about me. I remembered all the times I failed and every mistake I’d made and every embarrassment. I remembered that my boyfriend had left me because I was too caught up with physics. That I was afraid I’d never make it. That deep inside I was always scared that one day my brains would go away and everybody would find out I wasn’t much aside from that. It hurt so bad I couldn’t breathe, I felt all the air knocked out of my lungs, but it was beautiful. She made it beautiful and sad and wonderful.

„I’m depressive,” she told us before we left. „But I don’t let it bother me.”

„How did you learn to play?” my Renaissance Literature professor asked her on the next meeting at Stanislaw’s place.

„A deal with a demon,” she said. She looked much better than the first time, rested and healthy.

„What?!” I asked. I tried to figure out what she was getting at with that metaphor. „Did you sell your soul or something?” Maybe she’d worked hard, I thought, for years and years and years…

„Gods no. I didn’t make the deal with it, it made the deal with me. It got into huge trouble, said it’d give me anything if I saved its clumsy behind. I guess I could’ve asked for immortality, but I wanted to play the piano. It was so pissed to hear that. Had to go through hell and ask everybody about it. In the end he made a really bad deal to get me piano skills. I’m not sure he ever forgave me.”

We didn’t press her for an actual answer. We didn’t know we’d already gotten it, see. I assumed that it was something about her parents making sacrifices, maybe her mother taking on some really dirty job to get her prodigy daughter lessons – back then I didn’t know her mother hated her for being a mistake that she’d never been able to take back. In those early days, I took much of what Chris said as a metaphor. It was later that I realized she said the truth out loud carelessly because nobody ever believed any of it.

She played again for us, something slow and beautiful. Nothing weird happened. Nobody cried.

„She could’ve been a musician,” my Renaissance Literature professor said. „I wonder why she never went for that.”

Because she’d only been able to play the piano for three years, she’d never been seen practicing and she didn’t like the idea of being in the public sphere. Even so, the word was spread around by my Lit professor. After a month she was offered a job to write a soundtrack for a short film, and then the demands kept coming, a slow trickle of income.

Stanislaw was great. He never minded us using his house after we got closer. My own roommates back at the dorm didn’t like Chris much and they could do without me, too, so I started spending more and more of my free time there. We’d study together, then I’d move on to physics, then I’d draw her T-shirt patterns. Sometimes she’d go out and come back covered in bruises, or with torn clothes. I worried for her.

„I can hold my own,” she told me.

„But who’s doing this to you? Why do you keep going? What if one day you can’t make it?” I asked.

I don’t know exactly when we became friends, but I knew exactly why. I’d felt so awkward my entire life, never fitting in because I was the wrong sort of geek, but she made me feel as if it didn’t matter, because the entire world was outside somewhere, irrelevant. She didn’t make me feel like one of the crowd, which had been my secret wish until then – but she made me feel like a solitary one of a kind and a damned awesome one at that. She didn’t let me walk in her shadow – she cast no shadow. Neither did I. Chris plucked me out of the world and took me with her into another reality. It felt great and wrong at the same time, as if she was doing things with me that were forbidden and wonderful.

„I’ll always make it,” she answered. „I have a secret.”

„What secret?”

„I can keep it myself, thanks.”

She told me about other things, however. How she could sing better than she could study, play better than she could sing and fight better than anything else. Her mother had probably been a witch, she supposed. Her paternal grandmother definitely was, and she hadn’t gotten to die before she was whisked off to hell. Chris hadn’t been in hell, but she could feel the devils’ presence when the old lady disappeared.

„Or maybe my mum was a demon,” she told me. „You never know. Or maybe dad isn’t really my father and the real one was a warlock who sold my soul before I was born. Or I really am a bastard, but to a guy who’s just a man and I have shit luck.”

„My family’s all sane and human,” I said, apropos of nothing.

„I pity you. That’s why you’re so out of place. Me? I’m nowhere, but then I don’t need to be. Hey, you can be with me.”

I felt a warmth in my chest and a smile on my face. „I wish I were happy like you.” But I was happy right then.

She let out a very cheery laugh. „Happy like me? Rich, mate. Really rich.”

There was a gig in a bar once. She played like a demon again. Her hands were blurs, her eyes burned with rage and fire. She brought the audience to roars of approval when she cried-sang her chorus lines and then she looked at them and held them under her gaze, reducing them to utter silence as her hands slowed to a strange, discordant trickle of notes.

I thought then: maybe she got the talent from some crazy deal, but she got the music from herself. My physics could match her fingers, my knowledge of humanities could rival her voice. But she had this thing and she played with whatever it was. I was too scared, too trapped in failure even when I won. I had so much to lose, from my position to my parents’ approval, to my feeble few contacts. She had nothing. I envied her. And I loved her. I wanted to be her. I wanted to be with her, to drink her, to become her. If I were her, I’d win more than a Nobel – I’d win the whole goddamn world. I wouldn’t be Willis Eugene Lamb, who nobody knew about. I’d be Marie Curie. I’d be Albert Einstein. I’d be one of the people who didn’t need a damned prize so you’d know who they are. The people about whom you sometimes talk in present tense even when they’re long dead (Napoleon commands the French armies… Charles Dickens is born… Albert Einstein wins the Nobel prize…).

I’d be somebody alive.

One day, Chris didn’t come back. We waited, Stanislaw and I, until it was night. I went back to the dorm at about 11 PM. She wasn’t in class the next day, nor the day after that. I went back to Stanislaw’s and slept in her armchair for a week or more, waiting for her to return. My calls landed on silence, then her phone went dead. I was afraid she’d lost that fight – the one she was never expecting to lose. She’d never told me her secret.

Maybe she was dead, her body stashed somewhere, or thrown in the river. Maybe some demons had dragged her to hell, like they’d done her grandmother. Maybe her mum had come back for her.

Eventually I didn’t visit Stanislaw anymore. His kids had come home – a daughter my age, a boy a bit younger, living with their mum in Italy. I never knew what to tell them about my being there, about Chris being there, about Stanislaw letting us stay with him even though it was inappropriate. I just felt embarrassed. So I stopped seeing him, too, except on corridors. We talked less and less. There had been only Chris between us and now she wasn’t there.

I think I’d know if Chris were dead. I’d be able to feel it. My life would feel emptier. No, she’s alive somewhere. Maybe she doesn’t want to contact anybody, or maybe she can’t. Maybe she’s amnesiac. Sometimes I think I hear an echo of her piano in songs – she might have gone underground. She could have a small empire of her own, in a hell, or in a paradise, or in a place in between.

If she were dead, I’d know, wouldn’t I?

She never told me her secret, but she has one. She’s using it now. She’s playing dead. And I can forgive her for being away for so long. I can forgive her even if she’s run to LA and become really rich and looks down on me (though she wouldn’t). Because she’s alive. I know it. I know it. People like her don’t die. They’re just away.

"Sucker Love is Heaven Sent" – A Romanian Yoga Cult Under Investigation

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 11:48:07 +0000

„Sucker Love is Heaven Sent” – A Romanian Yoga Cult Under Investigation

MISA spiral meditation -- thousands of people holding hands

In Romania, MISA has a dark and worrying public image: an orgiastic, pee-drinking yoga movement, full of strange, incomprehensible practices, spiral meditations, brainwashing and master-worship. The Movement for Spiritual Integration into the Absolute, founded in 1990, has often been featured in the media after it came into public attention in 2004 when the police broke into and searched a number of MISA homes in Bucharest.

The legal prosecution against MISA and its guru, Gregorian Bivolaru, includes accusations such as sex with a minor girl, tax evasion and illegal crossing of the border. Bivolaru escaped to Sweden, where he managed to convince the Swedish court that the violence of the media against him, as well as the context of a post-communist country and the unexpected and rough treatment MISA received in 2004 at the hands of the police involved in the searches were proof enough of his being persecuted in his home country. Due to this, he received political asylum and he supposedly lives in Malmo, Sweden – although former members point out that his actual location may be Paris, France.

The (In)Famous MISA and Its Even More (In)Famous Guru, Gregorian Bivolaru

Although the media boom concerning MISA happened in 2004, riding a wave of scandalous sex stories and abhorrent pee-related practices, a bit of journalistic digging revealed it as an unsafe religious movement much earlier on. One article published in 1993 in the Tinerama magazine was illustrated by a picture of the great guru Gregorian Bivolaru involved in a sex act with a faceless woman. The article informs us that the photo was used by Gregorian Bivolaru as tuition material for new yoga students – and that Bivolaru was involved in trafficking pornography and seeking out women for perverted practices.

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Gregorian Bivolaru, top right, demonstrating Tantric sex -- Tinerama, 1993

While other articles were published about Bivolaru and MISA over the years, they had little effect when it came to informing the general public and the guru and his ever-growing yoga movement. Thousands of people of all ages were attracted by the possibility of learning about yoga and Eastern practices from what seemed to be a legitimate school. Little did many of them know that the printed courses and brochures they received were plagiarized and that their master was ‘initiating’ his young female yogis sexually.

Those who started attending MISA yoga classes were first presented with entrancing ideas about spirituality, among which were Tantric sexuality and the idealized, divine romantic love. The concepts served as the foundation on which later on other ideas were added to construct a world-view in which sexual energy is the basic energy of life, which must be controlled in very specific ways. Sexual ecstasy became a spiritual endeavor. Once sex became entirely regulated by MISA, women would be invited to sleep with Bivolaru or to become erotic videochat workers, masturbating online for the pleasure of paying men. At one point, women started being sent to Japan to work as hostesses in night bars or even strip dancers – following their success in earning money for MISA, these „spiritual activities” became widely spread and women were also sent to strip in European bars, or even the Bucharest Lucky Love, MISA’s own night club.

A Lucky Love promotion video:

This involvement in sex biz, initially kept secret from the world at large and from many low-level members, started being revealed after the police interventions in 2004, when members and former members of MISA profited from the anonymity of the internet to share stories of their yoga school and their yoga teachers. After long debates about the better and worse sides of MISA and the founding of the Exmisa forum, a large amount of information was gathered and shared with the press. This eventually led to MISA tightening its grip on members and introducing strong thought-control methods to force its students to stay in place. Bivolaru’s conferences started speaking out against the „gossip” around the questionable activities and eventually against „demoniac doubts” which made yogis doubtful about his authenticity – and, implicitly, that of the school. Some members were punished for their beliefs – such as kicking out high-profile student Mihai Rapcea, once Gregorian Bivolaru’s lawyer, who published a number of articles voicing his concerns about MISA’s policies and activities on his personal blog.

Over time, the Movement for Spiritual Integration into the Absolute provoked new scandals internationally by its continued involvement in sex biz and its shady practices. In India, the MISA yoga center was closed when Mihai and Adina Stoian, the leaders of the Denmark branch of MISA, were supposed to hold a yoga camp there. The two yoga instructors, and also porn stars, had to flee the country before they could be caught by the police. MISA was also involved in a media scandal in Argentina and it was the sex biz side of the organization that got it kicked out of the International Yoga Federation. Currently, MISA is being thoroughly investigated by the Italian Antimafia Commission.

The Italian MISA Investigation: 25 Locations Searched, Gregorian Bivolaru a Suspect

The Prosecutor in Florence, Angela Pietroiusti, filed charges of conspiracy, enslavement, human trafficking and sexual violence against MISA – charges not much different from the human trafficking and sexual perversions with a minor that Gregorian Bivolaru has been accused of in Romania.

According to former Italian MISA-affiliated instructor, Virgil Cătălin Călin, the investigation started when a number of MISA students filed complaints because somebody had placed porn DVDs of MISA students on their cars while they attended Mihai Stoian’s conference in Italy. Instead of getting the wrong-doer arrested, they found themselves under investigation after they admitted that the porn actors were their colleagues. While Călin doesn’t specify which MISA porn film this was, it should be mentioned that Mihai Stoian starred in „The Magic Passage” and „Ecstasy Water” along with his wife, Adina Stoian.

Gregorian Bivolaru in the Lotus position

The investigation grew in scope from this initial report and, on the sixth and seventh of December 2012, it led to 25 raids across Italy against the Italian branches of MISA – searches were performed in MISA quarters and suspect homes in Bologna, Florence, Milan, San Benedetto del Tronto and Bari. Eighteen people, ‘spiritual master’ Gregorian Bivolaru included, are suspected for enslavement and sexual abuse.

The official MISA website, Yogaesoteric, blamed the Italian investigation on vengeance from Virgil Cătălin Călin and disclaimed any connection with either prostitution or pornography. This might simply be a matter of the MISA perspective: members will be more likely to consider their own explicit films art rather than pornography. While the „Making Off”[sic!] for „The Magic Passage” (starring Mihai and Adina Stoian) has been taken offline, another film, „Ecstasy Water”, carries forwards MISA beliefs about sexuality and spirituality.

„Ecstasy Water” depicts pee games, spiritual teachings and group sexual practices. The storyline revolves around a disciple learning the Tantric path under the guidance of a true spiritual master, played by renowned MISA actor Ioan Pohariu. There are some connections between the spiritual master in the film and Gregorian Bivolaru himself – Pohariu’s character demonstrates his paranormal abilities by making a compass spin through the power of his thoughts alone, something that Gregorian Bivolaru himself has claimed to be able to do. (Sequences of the film can be found on pornhub – please do not click the link unless you are over the age of consent in your country)

However, the Italian investigation is not about the morality or immorality of these practices. As an investigator puts it, “Liberation through sex? That isn’t a problem.” Although MISA yogis seem to believe that they are persecuted because of a misunderstanding of their spirituality or because the evil Satanic cult of the freemasons is afraid of them, the Italian investigator says, “sex itself is certainly not under investigation. But if it becomes a tool to commit abuse against other people, to enslave some, exploit others, the issue changes profoundly. Especially if it turns out that some people are emotionally fragile on a psychological level.”

One of the problems with psychological abuse, however, is that it is hard to find the fine line between consent and coercion. According to December 10 article in Firenze Today, students and instructors from the raided centers described MISA sexual practices as “necessary for spiritual evolution”. However, 10 witnesses, aged 20 to 30, both men and women, discussed psychological subservience, violent sex acts and being filmed without their knowledge or consent during sex. The usage of the secretly filmed footage is under investigation, but there is a theory saying that they were sold as adult films.

A worrying case is discussed by former instructor Virgil Călin. One of the women enrolled in the MISA courses in Italy was invited to meet with Gregorian Bivolaru. Călin warned her no to go, but she had heard from other women that meeting her spiritual master was a ‘great occasion to evolve’ – thus, wanting to get closer to God and to her own self, she accepted the invitation. Popular stories in MISA say that women sleeping with Bivolaru evolve very rapidly, because their auras mix with their master’s and his spiritual achievements will be partially transferred to them. However, the Italian woman’s story was not one of divine sex – once she was face to face with Bivolaru, she was offered two large glasses of strong liquor that got her intoxicated. During sex, she felt ill and asked him to stop, which he didn’t do. When he asked her to pee on him and she couldn’t, he told her she was „a very stupid person” and blamed her inability on demonic possession.

Obviously, this was far from the spiritual and enlightened behavior she had expected – far enough for her to share her story in front of a yoga instructors’ meeting in Italy, prompting others to share their own worrying experiences. This very quickly led to most of the Italian branch of MISA splitting away from Bivolaru’s tutelage.

MISA Demands Justice

Despite the evidence of abuse and of immoral practices, MISA students continue to demand justice and freedom of thought and religion. A number of core believers profess their love for Gregorian Bivolaru, their trust in him as a spiritual leader and their persecution at the hands of the authorities, of the media and of the world in general. They believe that their phones are tapped, that their activities are under surveillance, that at least the Romanian Intelligence Service is trying to bring them down by fabricating evidence.

On the 18th of December, they caroled in front of the building where one of their lawsuits was judged, demanding justice and favorable verdicts. Today, on the 21st of December 2012, they expect a worldwide transformation which doesn’t yet seem to be happening. One cannot doubt the earnestness with which most strong-going MISA members support their favorite causes, the strength of their beliefs and their love for MISA and their spiritual master. While I am certain that they see these as qualities, looking back on some who claimed to have donated tens or hundreds of thousands of euros, or goods and time and money, to MISA and Gregorian Bivolaru, and on the women who slept with their master from love of the man himself and from love of God, I cannot help but hum, along with Placebo, „Sucker love is heaven sent”.

Happy Doomsday.

– Roxana-Mălina Chirilă
21.XII.2012

Article about MISA in the Huffington Post

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 20:14:11 +0000

Have a link to it.

It starts:

European Yoga Porn ‘Cult’ Establishes a U.S. Beachhead: Where Is the Outrage?

It calls itself the „Movement for Spiritual Integration in Absolute” – or MISA – and is reputedly the largest „yoga” movement in Europe, claiming some 40,000 members in more than a dozen countries. But it’s actually a dangerous personality cult whose „supreme spiritual leader,” Gregorian Bivolaru, has been accused of coercing or seducing hundreds of vulnerable women into producing hard-core porn videos, abandoning their spouses, and in some cases, becoming strippers and prostitutes – all in the name of „liberating” the female body and bringing MISA members into intimate communion with the „Divine Goddess.”

You can find the rest on HuffPo.

The FECRIS Conference

Sat, 20 Oct 2012 09:22:54 +0000

This blog will mostly be in Romanian, but since my conference in Perpignan was in English and it’ll take awhile before I get around to translating it, I figured I might post the text as-is.

Two things:

You may use the text of this conference as you wish – as long as you don’t modify it and you attribute it to me (and it would be nice if you also specified the context). Re-post it, criticize it, publish it – be my guests. If you’re doing something with it online, a link back would be very nice. If you’re doing something interesting with it, I enjoy being told. But if I’m unavailable for comment or whatever, just assume you have my permission.

For further info (or for criticism or whatever), I am available here, or at roxmchirila (at) yahoo (dot) com.

This written text is what I planned on reading at the conference. However, when I found myself there, I chose to speak freely. The obvious side-effect is that there are discrepancies between what I wrote and what I said – mostly in wording, although there are a few things in writing that never got to show up in the actual speech (the Benedict Anderson comment, the invocation from the „No Apocalypse” technique, the reference to the article on Yogaesoteric.net).

This IS the official written version, though, which I sent for publication on the FECRIS site and which will be published in the Traspasos magazine (translated in Spanish).

And here is the conference:

The Emotional Apocalypse:
A Quick View of MISA and its Apocalypse(s)

An apocalypse is an emotional event. I am referring here not to the usual meaning of the word apocalypse, the death of mankind, the destruction of civilization, the end of our world. Instead, I am referring to the phenomenon that occurs when a sect makes the end of the world a part of its doctrine: a very specific apocalypse is prepared for and it becomes part of the mentality and everyday life of a restricted, local group of people. Benedict Anderson once explained that most communities we are part of are too large for us to personally know every other person involved in them (“Imagined Communities”) – thus we imagine communities, feeling a kinship with others who live in the same territory, speak the same language, have the same beliefs – or even share the same apocalypse.

An apocalypse is a local solution for generalized problems and desires. It connects to the fear of death, translated into larger scale death and destruction that can paradoxically make the individual feel more in control of his or her personal destiny. An apocalypse is a judgment of value that will decide once and for all who are the virtuous and who are the sinful, who was right in their belief and who was wrong. An apocalypse is a chance to fight against evil and to prove oneself a savior, a worthy person or a hero who can withstand any challenge.

While sect apocalypses are many and vary according to the specifics of each sect’s teachings, the core of the various scenarios for the end of the world remains the same and it generally forms a knot of emotions and meanings, of concepts and desires and fears. It is my belief that in order to begin defusing the concept of the apocalypse it generally will not be enough to bring proof against the pet apocalyptic theory of the group – it is also necessary to understand how that apocalypse came to be believed and what its implications are for those members.

I will be addressing the issue as a former student of the Romanian MISA yoga school – in other words, as a former sect member of an orientally-flavored group that believes it has already averted at least two large-scale disasters and is working hard to delay or stop the 2012 Apocalypse. One averted disaster would have taken place in 1996, when an asteroid would have hit the earth, and another one would have been a devastating earthquake that would have destroyed a great part of Romania – MISA yogis believe that they have managed to avert both disasters by meditating and praying against them. Now they are meditating, praying and invoking God’s grace to avert or delay the 2012 apocalypse.

To better understand the concept of this particular apocalypse and how it relates to the rest of the sect beliefs, it is necessary to have some background of the MISA yoga school. It has been established in 1990 under the name of the Movement for Spiritual Integration into the Absolute and it was one of the first sources of oriental philosophy and spiritual practices in the country, all oriental disciplines having been banned during the communist regime that lasted until the end of 1989. Yoga classes are held once a week – at the end of a year of study, those who have attended enough classes automatically graduate into a superior year (today the highest ‘yoga year’ is 23). Due to its good timing and course-like structure, it boasts a high number of intellectuals who attended or continue attending its classes. MISA also organizes yoga camps, conferences, shows, courses on traditional Indian medicine, astrology or spirituality-related topics, as well as student groups that have as purpose the improvement of the master-disciple relationship, or the personal improvement of women. Eventually, students are led to believe that they can find the answer to most questions and life situations within the sect, that the leader Gregorian Bivolaru knows anything of all possible subjects and can suggest better alternatives than those found outside and that anything in the world can either be incorporated into the sect, or is based on false knowledge. They gradually come to believe that they are better than „normal people” and that going back to the world, back to normal interests or interacting on a normal level would maybe affect their spiritual level.

Despite the fact that MISA calls itself a yoga school, the theoretical teachings are also drawn from other traditions – the Hindu Shiva and Shakti are worshiped along with Jesus and the Virgin Mary. Other teachings are drawn from New Age beliefs or conspiracy theories, such as neo-Tantric sexual techniques, beliefs in benevolent aliens coming to the aid of humankind, a belief in freemasonry taking over the world and trying to bring MISA to its knees. Bivolaru and the higher-up circle of the sect (the big name instructors and VIPs) attempt to transform these elements into a single, coherent whole, but occasionally problems of doctrine can arise. Often, discrepancies or contradictions are smoothed over by modifying the texts of other spiritual traditions to make it seem as if MISA ideas are universally supported.

However, even when contradictions do appear, they are usually glossed over and ignored because MISA yogis are encouraged not to research matters thoroughly, but to swallow what they can of the theory – and practice according to what their higher-ups recommend. There is an enormous amount of written courses, books, brochures, conferences and articles written on a wide range of topics, but the core of MISA beliefs is actually orally transmitted, sometimes with short aphorisms attached for easier memorizing and quicker responses to issues.

For example, „one gram of practice is worth more than tons of theory”: the yogi is led to believe that if he or she does what the instructors or especially Gregorian Bivolaru say, then they will evolve quickly. Then, the much sought-after evolution is judged by the „states” that the yogi has: „A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds and the yogi by his states”. The elusive „state” is a mood/sentiment/condition in which the student can find oneself – the state of happiness, the state of wisdom, the super-mental state, the state of communion with God. Yogis are encouraged to become over-sexual, because „sex energy is the basic energy of life”. MISA yogis are also encouraged to feel rather than to trust their logic skills – „The mind lies”. They are encouraged to blindly follow Gregorian Bivolaru as well („the chance of encountering a true spiritual master is the same as that of a sea turtle that comes up to breathe every one hundred years and even then manages to bump its head on a floating piece of wood”).

In this context, all possible apocalypses can be averted by using methods proposed by Gregorian Bivolaru, which will involve asking for God’s help in the matter. The success of communicating with God will be judged by the ‘states’ that the yogi will have during meditations/invocations (feeling better, feeling light, feeling life). Not believing in the apocalypse due to disbelief would be succumbing to the mind’s lies, the mind’s so-called stupidity.

MISA’s concept of the Apocalypse is, like much of its doctrine, orally transmitted and made up of various elements taken from vastly different contexts. December 2012 is seen as a time when the world will move into a new era – the Hindu Satya Yuga -, a spiritual age in which the Earth will enter the photon belt, which will kill all those who are not spiritually prepared for the event. Benevolent aliens are offering their help to mankind and must be told that their help is accepted through meditations in which an affirmative answer is transmitted to them. There will be a number of natural disasters, which will mostly happen anywhere but in Romania, but all this can be averted through the prayers and invocations of MISA yogis – the Apocalypse can be delayed and drawn out for the good of all mankind with just a gram of practice and the grace of God. At the same time, the freemasons, a group of people who wish to enslave humanity, are also aware of these imminent disasters and are building underground structures to defend themselves – but some of these underground structures were destroyed due to God’s will, which was prompted by the meditations and invocations of MISA yogis.

Even if when summarized this entire theory looks more than unlikely, the yogi comes in contact with it gradually and will be likely to believe at least part of it, if not all of it. However, the apocalypse as a whole is a somewhat secondary and optional belief in the MISA system – the topics which are universally accepted and which form the MISA doctrine are usually related to sexuality, conspiracies or the personal effort made to evolve spiritually. Even so, the half-believed in apocalypse still has an influence on the mentality of yogis, who will pray and meditate against it and mention it often enough in conversation.

The fact that they discuss and consider it even if they are not entirely convinced by it is due to the fact that the apocalypse is a ‘strong’ idea. We live in a culture where we are very familiar with end of the world scenarios due to films and other media, as well as due to a Christian tradition that speaks of the end of the world. More than that, the local apocalypse of a sect will connect to three ideas that have strong emotional attachments: 1. the personal fear of death, generalized to the picture of everybody dying; 2. a judgment of all those who die (either in the sense of somebody judging, or of only the worthy ones surviving/going to heaven); 3. the hero aspect of the cult follower, who battles the forces of evil in an ultimate setting.

As far as the first aspect, that of death, is concerned, the individual shifts the uncertainty of their own future existence (we all know we’re going to die, but we don’t know when or how or what will happen afterwards) into the certainty of an outside event that will affect everybody. This has the paradoxical potential of making personal death seem more manageable – on the one hand, major events can seem escapable; on the other hand, the person will be surrounded by many others and at least will not face non-existence alone. Still, the death-aspect isn’t the one that MISA focuses on.

The second aspect is that of judgment – whether the apocalypse is the Christian one in which good men go to heaven, or the photon belt one in which only spiritual people survive, there will be some sort of measuring by which the individual is weighted and his or her value is established. The reward at the end would justify present problems and give a meaning to all suffering or discomforts that may arise on the way. For example, the image of MISA in Romania is that of a sex-obsessed, pee-drinking group of pseudo-yogis worshiping the guru (which is not that far from the truth) and adepts have to live with the unpleasant labeling. Some yogis have experienced health problems or mental problems, but they are considered tests which will make them all the better and stronger at the end. Sometimes adepts are asked to do things like working for free or near-prostitution (pole dancing and erotic videochat for women), or they are urged sternly to go through difficult practices on a daily basis. However, to members these can appear not as degradations or abuse, but as stepping stones to achieve a spiritual level that will eventually have divine validation when the yogi survives the apocalypse or defends himself from freemasonry-related disasters or becomes enlightened. The deeper the yogi goes in these practices, the more likely he is to keep believing in the system, in the apocalypse, in the guru in order to give a meaning to difficulties, ascetic practices and suffering. The desire to have all of these things be true grows as time goes by in order to maintain the person’s inner equilibrium and to validate their lifestyle.

The third aspect is the heroic aspect: MISA yogis are always meditating, praying and invoking forces to help the planet or mankind. They can see themselves as noble heroes that save the world even if the world doesn’t know it. More than that, they see themselves as battling their own lower aspects and evolving in the face of demonic influence, the apocalypse, the difficulty of living in what they think is a fallen, materialistic age. Not only are they validated, as we have seen above, but they can see themselves as people who are to some measure pure and good.

The apocalypse now established, there are two further issues to be taken into consideration: how to react to it and what happens if the apocalypse does or does not occur. Due to the fact that MISA believes that any destiny can be changed if one knows how to act, MISA yogis attempt to avert the death aspect through a ritual technique described by Gregorian Bivolaru („the supreme and efficient method”) as part of a long program stretching over years: the “Planetary Program of Urgent Action: No to the Apocalypse!!!” (also published as a brochure) Persuasion is used to convince students to do the technique at home or at work.

The technique contains invocations of angels, the Holy Ghost and a prayer-like invocation directed towards God which asks him to forgive the sins of humanity. Sample invocation: „I invoke, here and now, with a full, profound and strong faith, the mysterious manifestation of God’s grace in my being and I strongly aspire to feel ever more clearly and intensely its accumulation in my inner universe. I am profoundly and fully convinced that this is happening due to the miraculous help that the heavenly father – God – is offering to me.” (Bivolaru 95)

On MISA’s official website, there is an article called „10 reasons to perform the Supreme and Efficient Method”, signed by Maxim Hongell that enumerates ten reasons for involving oneself in the program:

The love for our planet and for humanity.
The privilege and responsibility granted by the fact that one knows about the technique and the apocalypse.
One’s faith in God – if the disciples believe in God, then they should believe he can save the world as well, if asked to do it.
Assuring the continuity of life.
A good impact on the general state of the planet and of humanity – since disciples are praying for the forgiveness of sins.
Elevating the vibration level of the planet and of humanity.
The excellence of the Supreme and Efficient Method – it is so good that it should be practiced at least twice a day and should have priority in one’s spiritual practice.
Doing what the spiritual master says – and thus evolving spiritually
The efficiency of group action
Personal spiritual evolution due to helping out the rest of the world.

We can see here that the death-aspect is mentioned, but only through negatives: the technique will abate death. The heroic aspect is underlined: yogis will be able to save the world. Also, they will become better people by doing so. An interesting addition is the fact that by doing the technique one follows the master, thus evolving more rapidly.

One can ask why yogis would willingly go through a time-consuming technique even if they’re not certain that the end for which it is employed is actually real. This question is actually connected to why yogis – and sect members in general – would follow techniques and orders and allow somebody to dictate their lives. A scholar of emotions, William Reddy, suggests that they do so in order to avoid emotional conflicts: strict regulations sacrifice freedom, but allow the individual to become more stable and less vulnerable when they are confronted with problematic issues (125, 126). In this case, MISA yogis can feel that they are less vulnerable in the face of death and social failure – if they fail in the ’normal’ world, they can always make up for it by following a few easy steps to become heroes in the MISA world.

It is emotions, and not beliefs, that make them go through the motions of averting the apocalypse, or meditate with the guru, or work for free for MISA, or even, in the case of women, prostitute themselves because Gregorian Bivolaru asks them to do it. As Nico Fridja put it, “What is wrong with death, other than it is disliked?”(qtd. in Reddy 21). What is wrong with any course of action, in fact, other than we like or dislike the outcome? Even if we proceed in a rational manner, weighing options and collecting data, then acting upon the information we have, what we are trying to achieve is determined emotionally.

Conversely, our emotions can make us prioritize the information we receive – we can take or leave data, believe it or disbelieve it, at least to a point, depending on our emotions connected to that data and to data that would contradict it (Yudkowsky). Even worse, we may have a tendency to look at a conclusion and then find evidence to support it, therefore rationalizing our favored data. So, even if MISA yogis can see that we are in October 2012 and people are not yet dying the way they were supposed to according to doctrine, they can rationalize the situation. They can conclude that the reason the apocalypse does not seem to happen is that they averted it, like they made an asteroid change course and a devastating earthquake disappear. They can also look for signs of the apocalypse and interpret anything unpleasant they discover in that key: if there are unidentified lights in the sky, they must be alien ships. If there is a new epidemic (like swine flu), it is a sign of impending doom and the one of the Biblical signs of the end of the world. They have taken steps concerning the end of the world: now whether anything happens or not, it can confirm their belief – if they want it to. The question that arises is whether they are sufficiently attached to the apocalypse to desire that to be the outcome of their reasoning.

The apocalypse will change the individual’s world view – it depends on them if they are willing or able to change it back. Whether the MISA yogi believes wholeheartedly in the apocalypse or not, the idea of impeding doom modifies their perception to the point where disasters and sudden deaths would not be unexpected. They come to see MISA techniques as being very powerful and they believe that they can do anything with them, but „they do not work enough”. This means that in case anybody becomes physically or mentally ill, the situation is blamed on their not using the techniques enough or properly.

For example, two MISA yogis, Cristina Gaina and Diana Dobrin, who were famous enough and who had starred in MISA porn films that were supposed to ‘sexually educate’ the world, died of breast cancer. Their getting ill was blamed on emotional issues (Cristina Gaina was known to be somewhat harsh, while Diana Dobrin had had relationship issues with one of the MISA VIPs) and they sought medical advice from Gregorian Bivolaru, who warned them against going to normal doctors and getting the common treatment. When they died, it was believed to be because they did not manage to resolve their emotional and spiritual issues – as I have mentioned about, ‘states’ are the measure by which the evolution of a MISA yogi is judged and it is supposed that a perfect yogi is safe from all physical harm. Also, two other yogis killed themselves – Attila Nagy and Mihaela Diaconescu. Their deaths were mostly glossed over and blamed on ‘demoniac influences’. Also, there are numerous other yogis who have many physical or psychological problems, but their problems are seen as arising from their spiritual imperfections. There are few questions asked about their cases because they are considered ‘atypical’ of yogis.

There are many ‘hooks’ that can play on the fears and desires of sect members and make them wish to believe in what they are told. The solution, in my opinion, would not be to prove that each hook is false: after all, there will always be some hook that can catch the individual, whether it is the religious one, or the materialistic one (the basis of gambling games), or any other one. The solution would be to go to the heart of the matter: the apocalypse, like the sect, is mostly an emotional phenomenon – we must solve that. It is a battle of what we want to believe against what we should believe in. If we want to believe something, then we will rationalize in order to prove to ourselves that the situation is as we picture it to be. Therefore, an approach to resolve this issue would be to attempt to convince people to seek to believe what is true, not to seek proof that what they believe is true. The solution is not an attack against the apocalypse – it is a local phenomenon, an emotional phenomenon and it can be fought against again and again without getting very far, but an attempt to convince individuals to test and retest what they believe in before they commit to it. A healthy dose of looking at one’s emotional triggers can help ‘vaccinate’ against apocalypses, sects – and all other unhealthy hooks that catch emotional attachments.

Works cited:

Anderson, Benedict. Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism. London: Verso, 1991. Print.
Bivolaru, Gregorian. The Planetary Program for Urgent Action „No to the Apocalypse!!!” Vol. 1. N.p.: Natha House, 2011. Web. .
Hongell, Maxim. „10 Reasons to Perform the Supreme and Efficient Method.” YogaEsoteric. N.p., 10 Mar. 2012. Web. .
Reddy, William M. The Navigation of Feeling: A Framework for the History of Emotions. Cambridge, U.K.: Cambridge UP, 2001. Print.
Yudkowsky, Eliezer. „Affective Death Spirals.” Less Wrong. N.p., 2 Dec. 2007. Web. .